Eleven strategies for couples to thrive in isolation
- Camp out or have a holiday in your home. Set up your sleeping area in another room for a couple of days and do some different things. Light a candle and sit together.
- Have agreed times where you are apart with no interruptions to pursue your own pleasure, hobbies and activities.
- Be very clear with your boundaries when one or both of you are working. Confer on setting up guidelines around noise, warmth, spaces to use and work hours.
- Take time to acknowledge each other before you “go to work” and when you finish, even if you will be in the same house or apartment all day.
- Schedule work breaks taken together at least once a day. Give each other undivided attention during this time.
- Maintain contact with friends outside your home. Set up online calls. Have a deep conversation with your friend. Ask them genuine questions about their lives.
- Use niggles with your partner to work out what you actually want. Little niggles are a goldmine of information. What is the opposite of what is upsetting you? Make a clear ask for the behaviour you would prefer and tell them why. “I feel frustrated and uptight when you ……………….. What I would love is for you to do is ……………….. “
- Dress up every few days for your partner in a way they would appreciate. Have a dinner date.
- Burn some energy. Get your heart rate up with a nitric oxide dump. Play kisschasey stripping off clothes as you go! Have fun!!!!
- Give each other thirty second hugs. This can be a huge reset. Embrace your partner, hearts aligned and take 4 or more deep breaths.
- Acknowledge the effects of isolation on you and your relationship. Openly share about what is happening for you.
Visit Esther Perel’s TED talk The secret to desire in a long-term relationship