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Eleven strategies for couples to thrive in isolation

  1. Camp out or have a holiday in your home. Set up your sleeping area in another room for a couple of days and do some different things. Light a candle and sit together.
  2. Have agreed times where you are apart with no interruptions to pursue your own pleasure, hobbies and activities.
  3. Be very clear with your boundaries when one or both of you are working. Confer on setting up guidelines around noise, warmth, spaces to use and work hours.
  4. Take time to acknowledge each other before you “go to work” and when you finish, even if you will be in the same house or apartment all day.
  5. Schedule work breaks taken together at least once a day. Give each other undivided attention during this time.
  6. Maintain contact with friends outside your home. Set up online calls. Have a deep conversation with your friend. Ask them genuine questions about their lives.
  7. Use niggles with your partner to work out what you actually want. Little niggles are a goldmine of information. What is the opposite of what is upsetting you? Make a clear ask for the behaviour you would prefer and tell them why. “I feel frustrated and uptight when you ……………….. What I would love is for you to do is ……………….. “
  8. Dress up every few days for your partner in a way they would appreciate. Have a dinner date.
  9. Burn some energy. Get your heart rate up with a nitric oxide dump. Play kisschasey stripping off clothes as you go! Have fun!!!!
  10. Give each other thirty second hugs. This can be a huge reset. Embrace your partner, hearts aligned and take 4 or more deep breaths.
  11. Acknowledge the effects of isolation on you and your relationship. Openly share about what is happening for you.

 

Visit Esther Perel’s TED talk The secret to desire in a long-term relationship